25 Divorce Myths … Busted

Straightforward Truths So You Don’t Plan Around Fiction 🫶

Purpose: Clear away the 25 myths that most often worry or mislead people during divorce, replacing each with a concise reality check you can rely on.

Time Commitment • 10–15 minutes to read; another 5 to jot any “aha” notes..

Just a calm space. No documents required.

Friendly Ground Rules

1. Agenda-Free Zone—Before, During, After
   Whether you’re weighing the idea of divorce, deep in the paperwork, or rebuilding life on the other side, we’re here to support your chosen path. No judgment, no hidden agenda.

2. Educational, Not Advice
   Everything you’ll read is for general education. It is not legal, financial, mental-health, or medical advice. Laws and circumstances differ by state, county, and family—always verify details with qualified professionals who know your facts.

3. Safety & Well-Being First
   If you feel unsafe, overwhelmed, or in crisis, please pause and reach out:
   • National DV Hotline (US) 1-800-799-7233
   • Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US) 988
   • 911 (or local emergency) for immediate danger

4. Every Journey Is Unique
   Divorce and healing are deeply personal. While we strive for accuracy and empathy, not every tip fits every situation. Keep what helps, adapt what might, and leave the rest.

5. Quick Calm Cue
   Feeling anxious as you read? Try the 5-5-5 Grounding Breath—inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 5, exhale for 5. Repeat three times, then continue when you’re ready.

Custody & Parenting Myths

1. “Moms always get custody.”

→ Courts base decisions on the child’s best interest—not gender. Shared parenting is now common.

2. “I can deny visitation if child support isn’t paid.”

→ Support and visitation are legally separate. Blocking parenting time can backfire.

3. “If I move out, I lose custody rights.”

→ Temporary moves don’t erase parental rights—especially if safety or conflict is involved.

4. “Courts always split time 50/50.”

→ Not true. Courts consider work schedules, kids’ needs, and existing routines—not just fairness.

5. “Judges will punish my co-parent for bad behavior.”

→ Courts care about the child's well-being, not morality. Only serious misconduct (e.g., abuse) affects custody.

Money & Property Myths

6. “If my name isn’t on the house, I don’t own it.”

→ Marital property includes anything earned during the marriage—regardless of name on title.

7. “The court splits everything 50/50.”

→ Only in community property states. Most use “equitable distribution”—which means fair, not equal.

8. “Debt in my spouse’s name isn’t my problem.”

→ Joint marital debt can be split, even if the account is only in their name.

9. “Quitting my job lowers child support.”

→ Judges can base support on your earning capacity—not current paycheck.

10. “Adultery means I get more money.”

→ Cheating rarely affects financial division. It only matters if marital money was spent on the affair.

11. “Retirement accounts can’t be split.”

→ Wrong. 401(k)s, IRAs, and pensions earned during marriage are usually shared assets.

12. “My ex has to pay college tuition.”

→ Not unless your agreement or state law says so. Some states allow it; others don’t.

13. “Health insurance ends immediately.”

→ COBRA gives up to 36 months. ACA and job-based options can also cover you post-divorce.

Legal Process Myths

14. “You need to prove wrongdoing to get divorced.”

→ Every state allows no-fault divorce. You don’t need permission or evidence.

15. “My spouse can block the divorce by refusing to sign.”

→ Nope. Once served, courts can proceed—even without their agreement.

16. “Everything said in mediation goes on record.”

→ Mediation is confidential in most states. It’s designed to allow open discussion.

17. “Verbal agreements are legally binding.”

→ Only court-filed, signed agreements are enforceable.

18. “If I’m the first to file, I’ll win more.”

→ Filing first may affect procedure, but not final outcomes. Facts matter most.

19. “Post-divorce, the court order can’t change.”

→ Support, custody, and alimony can often be modified if your situation changes.

Courtroom & Legal Fees Myths

20. “Judges will read every word I submit.”

→ Clear, brief, well-organized documents are more effective than long ones. Simplicity wins.

21. “Alimony is automatic.”

→ Not true. Courts weigh need, ability to pay, and duration of marriage. It's not guaranteed.

22. “I’ll lose everything if I don’t lawyer up immediately.”

→ Coaching and limited-scope legal help are valid first steps, especially in lower-conflict cases.

23. “If I DIY, it’s way cheaper.”

→ Sometimes. But paperwork mistakes can cost you more than a review by a pro.

24. “If I’m nice, I’ll get steamrolled.”

→ Being calm, informed, and assertive is powerful. Kindness ≠ weakness.

25. “Pets are treated like kids.”

→ In most states, pets are still legally property—though a few are starting to allow pet “custody.”

What to Do Next

• Flag any myth you once believed (even just a little).

• Update your plan: timeline, budget, and goals based on better facts.

• Share a myth-buster with a friend. It might ease their anxiety too.

Mini-Win ➜ Knowing the truth frees up energy to focus on what really matters.

Final Words

Every myth busted is one less thing to fear. When you act from truth, not hearsay, your decisions get lighter, smarter, and more self-aligned.

Stay steady • Lead with facts • Forward is forward

— The navigateDivo Team