First 90 Days Emotional Safety Plan

A 12‑week roadmap to steady your mind, body, and heart after the divorce decision 🫶

Purpose: Give you a sequence of micro‑rituals and weekly check‑ins that rebuild emotional safety in the critical first three months—so shock turns into structure, and fear turns into forward movement.

Time Commitment • About 15 minutes to read, then 5–10 minutes each day to follow the plan.

What You’ll Need •  Create a quiet note on your phone called 90‑Day Reset; keep a pen and sticky pad by your bed; set a weekly calendar reminder titled “Check‑In & Adjust.”

Friendly Ground Rules

  1. Agenda-Free Zone—Before, During, After
    Whether you’re weighing the idea of divorce, deep in the paperwork, or rebuilding life on the other side, we’re here to support your chosen path. No judgment, no hidden agenda.

  2. Educational, Not Advice
    Everything you’ll read is for general education. It is not legal, financial, mental-health, or medical advice. Laws and circumstances differ by state, county, and family—always verify details with qualified professionals who know your facts.

  3. Safety & Well-Being First
    If you feel unsafe, overwhelmed, or in crisis, please pause and reach out:
    • National DV Hotline (US) 1-800-799-7233
    • Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US) 988
    • 911 (or local emergency) for immediate danger

  4. Every Journey Is Unique
    Divorce and healing are deeply personal. While we strive for accuracy and empathy, not every tip fits every situation. Keep what helps, adapt what might, and leave the rest.

  5. Quick Calm Cue
    Feeling anxious as you read? Try the 5-5-5 Grounding Breath—inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 5, exhale for 5. Repeat three times, then continue when you’re ready.

Why the First 90 Days Matter

The brain is in threat monitoring mode right after major loss. Structure lowers cortisol, protects sleep, and improves decision‑making.

Mini‑Win ➜ A written plan can dampen stress hormones by up to 23 percent (American Psychological Association study).

The 12‑Week Emotional‑Safety Map

Weeks 1‑2 · Stabilize the Body

  • Eat three real meals; set a phone alarm if needed.

  • Walk or stretch 15 minutes daily—no performance goals.

  • Go to bed and wake up within the same 60‑minute window.

Weeks 3‑4 · Ground Daily Routine

  • Start each morning with the 5‑5‑5 breath and a one‑sentence intention.

  • End each evening by naming one tiny win (“I called the bank”).

  • Limit big decisions to 30‑minute “thinking blocks” to avoid spiral browsing.

Weeks 5‑6 · Build Support Circle

  • Identify three people: one listener, one practical helper, one fun buddy.

  • Schedule one check‑in coffee or call with each (no divorce talk at fun buddy meet‑up).

  • Join a moderated online support group or local meet‑up—five‑minute sign‑up counts as progress.

Weeks 7‑8 · Reclaim Personal Space

  • Declutter one drawer or desktop per week.

  • Replace one shared photo with an image that inspires calm (nature, kids’ art).

  • Create a five‑song “reset playlist” for emotional spikes.

Weeks 9‑10 · Spark Future Vision

  • Write a 100‑word “future you” paragraph (no editing, just jot).

  • Pin or screenshot one place you’d like to visit in the next 18 months.

  • Experiment with a new class, recipe, or hobby—low stakes, high novelty.

Weeks 11‑12 · Tune & Celebrate

  • Review your tiny win list—highlight the top five.

  • Adjust any routine that still feels forced.

  • Celebrate with a self‑chosen reward: solo brunch, hike, or mindful splurge (budget ≤ $50).

Mini‑Win ➜ Celebrating progress cements new neural pathways—science and smiles in one move.

Daily Micro‑Ritual (5 Minutes)

  1. Breathe – One round of 5‑5‑5.

  2. Body Check – Notice shoulders, jaw, stomach—relax one area.

  3. Name & Reframe – “I feel ____ because ____” → “One helpful step I can take is ____.”
    Rule of Thumb: Emotions named lose 40 percent of their charge (UCLA MRI research).

Weekly Check‑In Prompt

Write on Sunday evening:

  • What drained me most?

  • What restored me most?

  • Which small dial can I turn next week—rest, food, movement, or support?

Save entries in your 90‑Day Reset note; seeing patterns is half the coaching magic.

Crisis Toolkit (Keep in Notes App)

  • DV Hotline 1‑800‑799‑7233

  • Suicide & Crisis Lifeline 988

  • Closest 24‑hour friend or family contact

  • Therapist or divorce‑coach number

  • “Ground Now” playlist link

Copy and pin to top of phone notes for one‑tap access.

Final Words

The first 90 days after a divorce decision can feel like standing in surf—each wave different, but all powerful. A simple, flexible plan anchors your feet. Follow it lightly, adjust when needed, and remember: calm is cumulative.

Guard your rhythm · Celebrate micro‑wins · Forward is forward

— The navigateDivo Team

Need to talk things through with an experienced divorce coach?