First Lawyer Consult Prep Sheet

Walk into the meeting calm, organized, and in control🫶

Purpose: Equip you with a roadmap to clarify goals, gather the right facts, and turn a billable consult into a confidence boost—not another source of stress.

Time Commitment • Set aside 25–40 minutes to prepare, then attend the consult.

What You’ll Need • Open a notebook (or Notes app) and jot your three biggest worries and three top goals; keep your latest pay stub and most recent tax return nearby; pull up any prenup / postnup PDF; note the key dates of your relationship timeline.

Friendly Ground Rules

1. Agenda-Free Zone—Before, During, After
   Whether you’re weighing the idea of divorce, deep in the paperwork, or rebuilding life on the other side, we’re here to support your chosen path. No judgment, no hidden agenda.

2. Educational, Not Advice
   Everything you’ll read is for general education. It is not legal, financial, mental-health, or medical advice. Laws and circumstances differ by state, county, and family—always verify details with qualified professionals who know your facts.

3. Safety & Well-Being First
   If you feel unsafe, overwhelmed, or in crisis, please pause and reach out:
   • National DV Hotline (US) 1-800-799-7233
   • Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US) 988
   • 911 (or local emergency) for immediate danger

4. Every Journey Is Unique
   Divorce and healing are deeply personal. While we strive for accuracy and empathy, not every tip fits every situation. Keep what helps, adapt what might, and leave the rest.

5. Quick Calm Cue
   Feeling anxious as you read? Try the 5-5-5 Grounding Breath—inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 5, exhale for 5. Repeat three times, then continue when you’re ready.

Name Your “North-Star Three”

A clear destination keeps you from drifting into legal overdrive. Write the three outcomes that matter most—e.g., “peaceful co-parenting, keep the house if affordable, legal fees ≤ $12 k.”

Mini-Win ➜ Decisions made through this lens save time, money, and emotional energy.

Sketch the Money Snapshot

Gather the following to help educate the lawyer on your situation:

• Net income & pay stub - Sets child-support or alimony expectations

• Ballpark assets & debts - Reveals complexity (or simplicity) of the split

• Housing status - Signals refinance, sale, or buy-out strategy

Coach Tip: Precision isn’t required. Round numbers prevent analysis paralysis.

Draft a One-Page Timeline

Met → Married → Kids born → Separation → Any legal events. A crisp chronology can shave 10+ paid minutes of back-and-forth.

Assemble a “Proof Pack”

Upload to one labeled folder: prenup/postnup, any court filings, DV records, key parenting emails or texts. Lawyers love organized clients. Courts do, too.

Curate 10 High-Impact Questions

Focus on process, cost, and fit—the three levers you can control.

1. What percentage of your cases settle out of court?

2. How do you help clients contain costs month to month?

3. Who will work on my file and at what hourly rate?

4. Typical timeline for a negotiated settlement in this county?

5. Preferred communication channel and response time?

6. What can I do to keep fees down?

7. How do you approach custody disagreements?

8. Retainer amount—and what triggers replenishment?

9. Any red flags in my situation you spot immediately?

10. First 60 days: what critical steps would we tackle?

Print the list or keep it open on your phone to stay on script.

Coach’s Mindset Reset

• Reframe the Consult – It’s a mutual interview, not an audition for you.

• Body Check-In – Shoulders soft? Jaw unclenched? Ground your feet before the call.

• Pause Phrase – “Let me jot that down” buys thinking time and projects calm control.

Day-Of Checklist