Should I Stay or Go? — Chapter 3

Options & Decision Map 🫶

Purpose: You’ve gathered self-insight (Chapter 1) and hard data on kids, money, and safety (Chapter 2). Chapter 3 stitches it all together—laying out practical paths, a quick decision flow, a regret-proofing exercise, and a 30-day starter roadmap.

Time Commitment • 20-35 minutes (plus reflection time).

Grab a pen, your journal or a piece of paper, and your calendar.

Friendly Ground Rules

  1. Agenda-Free Zone—Before, During, After
    Whether you’re weighing the idea of divorce, deep in the paperwork, or rebuilding life on the other side, we’re here to support your chosen path. No judgment, no hidden agenda.

  2. Educational, Not Advice
    Everything you’ll read is for general education. It is not legal, financial, mental-health, or medical advice. Laws and circumstances differ by state, county, and family—always verify details with qualified professionals who know your facts.

  3. Safety & Well-Being First
    If you feel unsafe, overwhelmed, or in crisis, please pause and reach out:
    • National DV Hotline (US) 1-800-799-7233
    • Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US) 988
    • 911 (or local emergency) for immediate danger

  4. Every Journey Is Unique
    Divorce and healing are deeply personal. While we strive for accuracy and empathy, not every tip fits every situation. Keep what helps, adapt what might, and leave the rest.

  5. Quick Calm Cue
    Feeling anxious as you read? Try the 5-5-5 Grounding Breath—inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 5, exhale for 5. Repeat three times, then continue when you’re ready.

Option Spectrum at a Glance

Quick Decision Flow

  1. Safety Check

    • Any Red flag? → Activate safety plan & seek counsel before choosing.

  2. Both willing to try therapy for 3 months?

    • Yes → Start Growth-Together Plan → review date on calendar.

  3. Conflict Level (1-10):

    • 1-4 → consider Mediation or Trial Separation.

    • 5-7 → Collaborative Divorce or Legal Separation.

    • 8-10 → Litigation (with safety measures).

  4. Money Reality:

    • Solo budget ≥ 15 % surplus → broader choice set.

    • Surplus < 5 % or gap → Growth-Together, Discernment, or Pause while stabilising.

  5. Kid-Stress Factor:

    • Kids thriving & low conflict → Stay/Trial options stronger.

    • Kids distressed by daily conflict → lean Separation → Collaborative path.

Tip: The first option that clears all filters is usually the least-cost viable path to test first.

Regret-Minimization Letter

  1. Set timer 10 min, no edits.

  2. Write from 90-year-old You to Today-You:
    “What choice will I be proud of regardless of outcome?”
    “Which risks matter, which don’t?”

  3. End with: “Thank you for…” (actions, boundaries, compassion).

  4. Re-read tomorrow; highlight phrases that feel like truth beacons.

Mini-Win ➜ Your future-self wisdom is now on paper, not swirling in your head.

Final Words

Decision-making isn’t a lightning bolt; it’s a series of informed steps. These three chapters gave you structured reflection, external data, and a map of your options. Use them at your pace, revisit as life shifts, and lean on professionals or our coaching team whenever you need clarity.

Stay empowered • Adjust as you learn • Forward is forward

— The navigateDivo Team

Need to talk things through with an experienced divorce coach?